Faced with the Irrational?
Beat some Sense into Them with our exclusive
SledgeHammer of Reason

Want to Get to The Heart of the Matter?
Cut through the Bullshit with our finely honed
Sage Blade

Need to Stick It to Them?
Nail them to the Wall using our own
Saber of Relentlesss Pursuit

Had Enough?
Take on the Hordes with Confidence
Beserker Max
optional lighter in pommel for additional torchlight fighting pleasure

Unsightly Bloodshed a Problem?
Reduce Cleanup and Possible Heomopathic Contamination
Flail of Fortune

Just Feel Like Playing With Them?
Let 'Em Try and Fight Their Way out of Our Paper Bag!
Paper Bag of Confusion