Influence and Interpersonal Manipulation
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Influence is a normal and necessary part of being human. We need to be able to be influenced by others, and we need to be able to influence others in return. Part of influence is that we can learn from each other. Think what life would be like if each person had to figure ever action out through their own personal trial and error. Would you have ever figured out how to make spaghetti without another person's help (influence)? Even if it was nothing more than following package directions? We also influence each other in forming norms of behavior. We interact within groups to determine acceptable manners, desirable attitudes, understandable speech patterns, and appropriate dress. We influence each other as we reach group consensus' about what constitutes the color green, what "hot" and "cold" mean, and other word and conceptual definitions. We are, at least to a degree, built to conform. From normal levels of influence, we find that influential pressure also exists. We know that people pressure others to comply at times... there is pressure from our peers, pressure from authorities, pressure from others, such as children and even pets. We can also feel pressure from groups of people who don't actually exist! If we think there is a group out there somewhere, if we can imagine such a group, we can actually feel pressured by them! Manipulation is a further development along the continuum of social influence. Manipulation can be defined as interpersonal pressure and influence brought to bear on an individual for the self-concerned desires of the manipulator. Extreme manipulation and ultra-authority are simply the normal mechanisms of influence taken to the very end of the continuum. Part of what makes extreme manipulation so much more powerful, and so much more damaging, is that normal influence takes place at a very behavior-specific or concept-specific level. It is not directed at every aspect of the person, nor is normal social influence consciously directed at one individual by another. Pressure does often included one person (or small group) targeting one individual to get them to give in. Even so, the pressure is still behavior- or concept-specific. In extreme manipulation, however, the pressure brought to bear on the targeted individual is much broader. It is no longer behavior- or concept-specific; extreme manipulators attack all or nearly all of the major aspects of the targeted individual. Manipulation, even extreme manipulation, can be hard to detect. Especially if you do not know it exists or to be wary of it. Because extreme manipulators use the same types of social interchange that results in normal influence, the predatory nature of the relationship is easily masked. It is for that reason that it is so important to realize that extreme manipulation and ultra-authority do exist and how it works. That is the purpose of the book People Who Play God. Please don't wait for tomorrow; you or someone you love might meet an ultra-authority today. |